I was sitting in a creative meeting at work today, when I get a text message from a former friend and band mate. This message was more of a threat than anything else. After a bit of thought, I decided that I will respond to this threat here on my website, I want everyone to know the truth about this site and the infamous Ultraviolet Hippopotamus.
A few years back, while I was still in college, some friends and I started a band. We called ourselves Ultraviolet Hippopotamus, a name we found out of some Robert Anton Wilson book. There’s this one chapter, it’s like a dictionary of band names, very helpful for the uninspired struggling musician. I had a lot of fun for a while, playing music hanging out, they were good times no doubt. But eventually ego, management, time, all became issues for me. So I left, on somewhat good terms anyway and headed west.
One of the things I did for Ultraviolet Hippopotamus was the website and email. We never did a whole lot with it, but nevertheless I set it up and maintained it. Like most things, websites cost money and we used band funds to pay the bill. After I left, they stopped paying the bill and eventually the site was shut down. Of course, like the next day I get a call, we need help (no email = panic). Now at this point, I don’t have any vested interest in the band, but they are still my friends, so I help them out. I naively renew the domain name, and place the hosting fees / responsibility on my credit card with the understanding that they will immediately send me a money order. Apparently none of the members had a checkbook. Even to this day I have never received any payment, but more on this later.
So time goes by. I get excuses from the band about money needed for equipment, recordings, car insurance, cell phone bills, you name it. Then I hear they kicked out the other founding member because he wasn’t good enough. My patients was growing thin as the site was about to again expire. That’s when I get a call from Brian, telling me he needs his email up again to get bookings and that he will send a money order today. More time goes by, no money, not even a thanks.
Then, I get this phone call from their newest member demanding I do this and that. I wouldn’t call it a threat but they expected me to do more favors for them, like I was getting something out of it.
Here was my response:
Russell,
Thank you for contacting me with regards to uvhippo.com. I’ve been stuck paying for and supporting this sense I left the band 2 years ago. Initially, I was doing this as favor for my friends, but they saw this as an opportunity to take advantage of me, my time and money. I will not let this continue.
That being said, I will be more than happy to sell uvhippo.com. The price is $500 (a non-negotiable value I came to by assessing my investments and time). Once I receive payment, I will open the domain and provide you with the required code to complete the transfer. This will end my liability. All future hosting and administration will be your responsibility. You will be the full legal owner of the domain and your debt to me will be settled.
Please let me know if you have any questions.
I got this message back from Russel:
Thank you for getting back with me. I will be in contact with you over the next few days to work out where to send the money. Thank you again.
Russ
Guess what? I never heard anything back. Later, I realize that instead of paying me what they agreed to. They instead registered a new domain name and created a separate website. Now, I realize I’m stuck with this website and begin looking for ways to generate revenue, to pay for my losses. What a mess.
So, I put up some links to amazon.com. So far I’ve made 10 cents off 1 digital download, not great, but better than nothing. This is what was on the site until now...
Now that I’ve been threatened. Here’s the text brian sent me:
We have a tax id and are a registered Llc. You are using our company name to sell ad space. That is illegal! Please call me.
Here is my response:
Brian and members of Ultraviolet Hippopotamus,
First of all, you need to get your facts straight. Every tax payer and business has a tax id. This does not give you any legal power, it just means you pay taxes. Secondly, I think you are confusing LLC with a trademark. And even if you did have Ultraviolet Hippopotamus trademarked it wouldn’t legally prevent me from using my site to sell what ever I wanted to on it. In fact, because you defaulted on your contract with me, I have full legal control over this domain, not to mention the uvhippo myspace account. The only one who has any legal options here is me. I could and probably should take you to court to reclaim my losses.
With all that’s been said, you are missing the point. You don’t like having ads on uvhippo.com yet you failed to do the one thing that would have prevented this, the right thing, and now you have lost me as a friend and ally.
To all your friends reading this, I hope you now have a better idea of what this band is really about… fucking over their friends for personal gain.
Congratulations Ultraviolet Hippopotamus, Dead Beat Band of the Year!
This is my site, no thanks to you, and I will do with it what I want.
I consider this chapter in my life closed.